It smells like calm in here.
I’m definitely the biggest, sweatiest person in here, a tell tale sign that I’m a yogi fraud. Nobody seems to notice though.
I’m wearing a polyester tank top from a thrift store and old leggings with holes in the thighs, a tell tale sign that I’m not an athlete. Nobody seems to notice though.
Deep breath. I have to start somewhere. Just start.
I’m trying hard to focus on my movements and stillness and breath. Nobody seems to notice though. They’re focused on their movements and stillness and breath. Just take it in. Be grateful for everything you can do.
The lady on the yoga YouTube video said the shaking is transformative. My vibrating arms tell me that I’m obviously going through a transformation at the moment. Nobody seems to notice though. Still holding.
These people have super long hair in braids and organic cotton yoga clothes that were fairly traded. Their glowing skin and muscles tell me how healthy they are. They probably didn’t eat a family size bag of caramel popcorn last night. Or any night. OK. Compare myself only to myself from yesterday.
Focus on where I want to be and go there.
Did she just say head stand practice? I should have known these people would be more advanced than me. I think I’m doing this pose wrong. Oh, wait no, a glimpse in the wall size mirror tells me I’m doing it the same as everyone else.
I tell her that I think this is the start of something for me and that maybe I can be who I think I am. She looks me in the eyes and nods her head saying, “Fuck yeah, you can.” Wondering why I would have ever thought otherwise.
They tell me I belong here. I believe them. So I started. I just started.